sometimes things look like they don't have any order, and then, from a different level, you realize that it does have order. it's like climbing a mountain. look around, you see trees and rocks and bushes, pressing around you. and then you get above the tree line, you see everything you just went through and it all like comes together. you know, you see that it has a shape, after all. sometimes it takes a long time to get high enough to see it, but it's there.